Hello Again!

I don't mind the comments---I need the ones that are critical and I respect them. Please don't stop reading or writing them if it's what you really think or feel. If you want to post to just be mean then that is different. I have been MIA and not for any great reason and I would say that you are absolutely right that my head was not in the right place. As long as that was happening I wasn't posting or eating right or exercising. But once again I must say I won't just give up. That is where you fail is when you lose hope and give up. Sure- I could change my blog to something else but what would be learned from that. So I'm not doing it.....anyone who is on this path to weight loss knows that if we had our heads in the right place we would have stopped overeating sooner. The key is to keep trying. I don't think my eating and exercise has become a lifestyle yet. But I will give it time. I will keep on keeping on...

I definitely get emotional around the holidays and my birthday. I don't worry as much about aging but I do think about my family a ton. It makes me a little sad at times.

I also used the week off with my husband to do some projects here and we turned off the TV, computer and cell phones and though we all went through withdrawl we certainly got more done. Maren was not happy to go a week without her computer games either and she's only 2!

I enjoyed Cavalia and if you are a horse person or not you will love this show. I want to go back! Hubby had a smaller birthday event since Maren got sick again and we had to cancel friends coming over. Luckily he enjoyed Cavalia with me! We also got started back working with Rholo and Mika and Maren has been riding some as well. The weather has been lovely between the rain. So today I started off on the righ track and I hope that I can keep eating less and moving more. Sounds simple doesn't it.... By the way I totally agree with Kate Moss....nothing does taste as good as skinny feels. When a fat person says it or someone who has lost weight it sounds inspirational. So I say leave the skinny bitch alone...

So I am getting my head back. I relapsed and enjoyed all of the birthday cake and sushi....but I am willing to try again. So here we go!

Getting a Grip!

I just love the commments I get sometimes....and sometimes not! I am trying to get a grip...I wonder what the 3 paragraphs went on about...probably my whining and complaining!

So today is my last day on the new antibiotic. I had hives for 3 days after stopping the first one and my hands swelled so bad that my rings were all stuck and cut into my fingers...when I get hives I even get them on the palms of my hands! So my doc said to skip a couple of days before starting a new antibiotic and he gave me some steroids as well. I did manage to get Maren out for Halloween. We hosted a big fall festival with two other couples and the rain cleared for the 3 hour window of the party and it timed out to be when I was between meds. Yesterday I even got out to teach my hubby on Rholo for a bit. I am loving the fall weather and I have big birthday plans to go see Cavalia on Saturday and then I am judging a ride a test on Sunday at a local farm. I am so glad to be feeling better and able to get back to a schedule. My hubby is off of work all of next week and we may be taking a short vacation or a staycation at home. But boot camp will be back on soon!

Ongoing illness delays!

I started my meds and it's been hell ever since. I was finally able to rest some yesterday and was feeling ok in the afternoon and I took this pic and managed to clean the house that I had been neglecting and then I got into my routine of take the meds and then lie still while I feel sick to my tummy and then the insomnia kicks in for the night. I got hubby to drive Maren to school for 2 mornings so that I could finally sleep and I thought I could survive the 7 days of meds then the hives arrived in the middle of the night---all over and so many! I have had hives for several reasons in the past but this was by far the worst. The med I was taking is Levaquin and it seems that every side effect possible got the best of me! So I am on benadryl now which makes me incredibly dopey and I will try yet another antibiotic starting tomorrow. My symptoms last week were very H1N1 like and the ear infection and lung congestion worried my doctor a lot. He thought I would have improved in 48 hours but I still have what sounds like a hacking smokers cough...so I will get back as soon as I can but for now I am eating whatevr my hubby makes me or brings home and getting through my day!

To the Doctor at Last

Today my ear stopped up and I could not hear so I finally made an appt and I am off to get a prescription filled. I had to weigh in...not my favorite part but hopefully I can get well and get back to working out ASAP. I did find a moment to get a couple of shots of Daddy and Maren trying out the new leadline saddle. Mika looks so sweet and dopey in this pic. I looked at it and thought---where is my glamourous mare under all of that unpulled mane and winter hair...and then I thought yeah there she is, my saintly mare that I trust to have Maren ride anytime, anywhere. I am so glad she is around to be Maren's favorite!

I'm Not Missing---just delayed by illness!

So I still feel like crap....haven't been ok for awhile but not all the time--I keep thinking I am better then a little nausea comes back. Maren isn't great either and today hubby seems to be starting too! I did make it to an early Halloween Party last week---I was Octomom, hubby Michael Jackson and Maren was paparazzi with her camera and a press pass! It was a hoot. Don't you think that would have been a great lunatic pairing! They both really love kids! I have a twisted sense of humor---excuse me I am on many cold meds!

Try again!

I still can't get my video up....will try you tube instead!

26 Days to BDay and a new attempt!

Blogger is giving me fits...my videos and pics aren't coming through! UGH!

I tried my first ever video blog! I've posted some clips in the past but this one is of me...southern drawl and all..do I REALLY sound like that!

You said I was neglecting pics of me...so I tried to do better....but now nothing is uploading!

Mini Pancakes and light syrup

coffee w/ vanilla creamer(not low fat-2 cups)

almonds w/sea salt

grilled chicken sandwich-salad FF dress.

roast beef on wheat w/horseradish mustard---should have been cooking today and I ate Maren's pancakes in a hurry this AM to get to a playdate...but still not too bad.

29 Days to Bday

It was an outside day today...which I enjoy very much especially in the fall. Our temps were awesome and the rain held off long enough for Maren's playset to get started and the pastures to get at least partially mowed and seeded. I am also so much better when I am just going all day. I keep busy and I have no trouble sticking to a good eating plan.

So I mentioned it's my anniversary week....but did I tell you we both forgot! We have been together for almost 14 years now but only married 3...It just goes to show that I am way too busy! I called hubby the day after and he then immediately sent some flowers my way and I also got my bicycle flower planter I have been watching at the local Real Deals store so now I have to figure out my side of this thing! Oops!

I have a big day tomorrow with a ride a test to help practice judging for the L program and then as usual I have plenty to do here at the farm. I am putting in the cross ties and the horses will begin working again either tomorrow or Monday....rain is on the way so good for the grass but maybe not for the working of horses...we'll see...and I still have a grass arena. I have weighed it all in my head a million times and I cannot justify the expense of the arena I really want when we are not ready to put it to full use. I really want to focus on breeding more and the young horses are great started on grass. And now that I have been without a barn and boarders I really don't want to invite stall cleaning and more folks into my life on the farm. I think we'll be building run ins that can be enclosed for inclement weather and a mare foaling barn and call it a day!

I still need letters...I adore flowers so some sort of planter will be best I think....

Kashi bar

grilled chicken wrap plain

fruit cup

chicken breast baked

brown rice

black eyed peas

salad

My latest drink is Early Rise from Walmart--supposed to be like Orange Juice! But I need to drink more water!

Birthday Countdown

Birthdays are always a reminder of how old as well as how fat I am at any given point in my life. I am heading toward 40 faster than I ever imagined. I feel as though time has sped up on me somehow and it's so easy for a day to turn into a week. My hubby and I had our anniversary this week and now we are about a month away from both of our birthdays. My newest plan...and yes I admit I have had MANY...is to get a 4 week program started to hopefully feel much better about my status on November 7 than I currently do today! I have the usual too much going on and I truly need my schedule reconstructed but I am on it! The elliptical, boot camp, and maybe that 5K I promised myself a while back....don't think I forgot I said that! I am a procrastinator...but I get things done in the end.

The Results are IN!

I spent the day at home Saturday and missed our first fall parade due to rain but I dug out Halloween stuff and I am ready for the holiday season to begin. The rain uis bringing the fall weather and once we dry out I love to work out, ride and generally be outside in the fall! We have fall festivals, parades and parties from now thru New Years!

I got my tests back on Saturday from the first judging session of the L program and I am pleased! I got to read her comments anywhere we differed and by far my biggest trouble is articulating why a 7 is not an 8 or higher. It's almost always due to lack of brillance but I need about 20 ways to get that across for every possible scenario! My gifted teacher would love that I need to expand my vocabulary still!

I did go out for Chinese and to see the GA Bulldogs football game...but I have been doing well with muy eating....I even got on my elliptical and wore my pedometer today, blew up my big ole ball for some sit ups and called the Tiffanator to get back to bootcamp on the 1st! Still trying to put one foot in front of the other!

Have you hugged your horse today?

Sad news...Rico was found in a field...he didn't make it. This video was posted on the chronicle boards....the music really made me cry. I wasn't expecting that. Beautiful pictures at the end! RIP Rico...you and Isabella Werth's Gigolo are somewhere grazing together in the most beautiful place now. Another sad loss that reminds me that my older mare or for that matter any of the horses, people, and pets in our life can so go easily. A lesson I have learned from early on. So hug your people, your pets and your horse every day. Tell people you love them...all the time!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5haVjCjHOHo&feature=channel_page

I also missed a post from a few weeks ago when I wasn't online so much. The Chronicle buletin board lost a member known as Eyesontheground....her name was Adriane Bell and she had written to me after reading my blog. She was in her twenties and taken in a car accident. I went back and reread her letters.

Her tagline:

"There are stars in the Southern sky and if ever you decide you should go there is a taste of time sweetened honey. "

I think there are some new stars in the Southern sky today!

No news yet

I haven't heard anything yet....the flood caused so much damage it's hard to imagine what it would be like if it happened at your own farm. Leslie is a terriffic judge and owned the stallion Gixibar that was the sire of my first mare Glissade(Genetta Piper). I have scribed for her and hired her to judge our shows and had an occasional lesson. She is a sweetheart and the family business is horses so how do you pick up when the place of business is gone. I hope that some fundraising will come through.

I am writing this in the AM...Maren and I both have been a little tired and have funny voices in the AM so we rested. I'll post again for today
Here is an articale about Leslie's farm

http://www.douglascountysentinel.com/pages/full_story/push?article-Horse+stable+suffers+major+damage-+loses+at+least+one+horse%20&id=3686149-Horse+stable+suffers+major+damage-+loses+at+least+one+horse&instance=west_ga_news


Ham and egg on wheat
peanut butter
roast beef on wheat w/horseradish mustard
sliced tomatoes
Kashi bar
lean cuizine pizza and salad w/ ff ranch

I ate bread alot...didn't feel like really cooking! I need to get back in my kitchen!

Commentary Isn't Always Fun

Well wasn't that fun to read--a snarky comment on my blog to tell me to go get surgery to lose weight and I might as well lose 20 pounds by cutting off my breasts right away....lovely. Just lovely. I don't make a habit of deleting comments. Once before someone commented that me and all of my friends look fat in a pic I posted. I deleted that for them not for me. But this is what you get when you put yourself out there. I am still losing weight and I will live with whatever comes of losing alot of weight. I'd rather have sagging skin than a fat body. I have recieved more good than bad so there it is...that is what you get when people can post anonymously...their truth. I have no doubt that there are many people who feel this way. I also want to say I am sorry if I have complained. I don't want to make any excuses for myself. I just put here what is really going on and you are right...I have the luxury of time and the ability to go to boot camp with a trainer and I am a slacker for ever not doing my best. I don't work a job but my time with my daughter is my job now and I am raising her to the best of my ability. In her 2 short years she hasn't missed a thing. It's the best job I've ever had and the hardest...it is even more 24 hr 7 days than horses!

So locally the flood waters have deeply affected some of my friends. We had no trouble here but one friend from school has major damage-feet of water in her home and cars and no flood insurance. My other friend is dressage judge and trainer Leslie Olsen. She lost a horse, one is missing and her brother barely escaped with his life. Her farm is destroyed. Here is a video clip from the news http://my.wsbtv.com/_Willowbrook-Equestrian-Center/video/793894/6690.html?b=

Her farm wesite is http://www.willowbrookequestriancenter.com/ I don't know if she is set up for donations but the contact info is online there.

I ate well today...it's the middle of the night but I am finding the time to get this post in.

Egg with tomato basil feta cheese on wheat

subway turkey 6 inch on wheat

almonds

grilled chicken wrap

coffee w fat free creamer

Jumping Back In

Thank you all who have been writing lately. I am always reinspired by your messages!

I had such a time with the new computer...it too detected a virus and then gave me some trouble just after I installed it....then I headed off for the weekend at Poplar Place Dressage for the first judging portion of the L program called the D-1. We had to spend the weekend with our scribes judging in real time as the ring progressed. I was quite nervous going in and had to find my groove with my good friend and "other mother" Billie. She was great! Even if we got off track we found our way back and regrouped. By Sunday AM we were given our first evaluation and I was told I was on track! The teaching judge had reviewed our tests and mine were ok. Sunday we also went over the tests score by score and compared our individual movement scores to hers as well as the overall points. Mine had to be within 10 points to be ok overall and I should have the same score or only 1 away on any one movement. I was pleased that only on a rare occasion did we differ and my tests matched hers for the overall remarks...now she takes them home and really reviews them all and we get them back in the mail with a review. So the biggest stress in my life is now behind me and I am back to focus on my weight loss again....until the next session!

I am a little sad that my birthday is approaching and I had in mind that I would be a lot lighter than I am right now. I am glad though that I am still here writing and therefore I am still trying and have not given up. I have a good 6 weeks until the birthday so hopefully I will be able to report some new progress. There are still some farm projects that I must get finished before I head back to boot camp but by Oct 1 I should be on a schedule that is managable.

So for today:

Fiber One with Skim milk

2 eggs with tomato/light feta cheese (very small amount)

Ginger Chicken and rice(frozen meal) Salad with light Olive Oil dressing, avocado/tomato

Wasa bread with ham slice

Progresso vegetable soup

Small steak, brown rice and green beans